Mom reads her 16-year-old daughter's diary and kicks her out because she wrote that she doesn't see her stepdad as family: 'He's just the guy my mom is married to.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Aug 28, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

I can't think of anything more invasive and cruel to do to a teenager than reading their diary. You really shouldn't be reading anyone's diary unless you're trying to figure out the cause of their demise, ala Laura Palmer, or you're reading diaries that were written to be eventually read by the public, ala Presidents. For the average Joe, your diary is the place where all of their most intimate private thoughts go: the thoughts that can be even too difficult to say out loud, so they must be written. 

There's probably a pretty good reason that someone isn't telling you the things that are in their diary, even if you are family or a close friend. They may need to process their raw thoughts before sharing them with anyone. We all know that the first things that come to our minds aren't always that pretty, and there's nothing wrong with having a first draft of your emotions. People shouldn't be held to the things they say in their diaries, unless, of course, they are planning some crime. But having negative emotions about your parents is not a crime, and parents of teens should know that.

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  • The teen in this story is in a precarious situation. Her stepdad and mom kicked her out a year ago after reading her diary, and they are shocked that she doesn't want to come crawling back to them.

  • you In belie faire? Swiss? tody, it's what to pass. not where you're by to get to version of success, with one an chats m
    via Marcos Paulo Prado

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my mom I don't want to move back in after her husband kicked me out for how I feel about him and my half sister?

    I (17f) was kicked out of my mom and her husband's house 8 months ago when I was still 16. Honestly I went more willingly than mom liked but I didn't want to stay after everything went down like it did. My mom was upset and she insisted on us doing therapy ever since and now she wants me back and I don't want to go back.
    via u/Lilizenzoll
  • Okay, so, things went down like they did because my mom read my journal. She told me she was concerned about certain behaviors or lack of behaviors and wanted to see what my feelings actually were because she didn't think I'd be honest with her if she asked. She told me her
    via u/Lilizenzoll
  • biggest worry was how distant I was with my half sister who was 3 at the time but turned 4 since | moved out. She said I typically adore kids and she thought I would be an adoring big sister to her but she felt like I only showed her basic kindness as a kid and not actual family kindness and closeness and she used me and
    via u/Lilizenzoll
  • my brother (20m) and our relationship as an example. She told me it hurt to see me write that I didn't love my half sister and I treated her kindly not because I cared but because I was just trying not to be a j. She said she didn't understand that and didn't like me feeling that way.
    via u/Lilizenzoll
  • Mom was almost begging me to tell her I didn't feel that way. She kept asking me to explain my feelings and trying to find anything in what I said that would prove I love and truly cared about my half sister as family. Then she brought up the stuff I wrote about her husband and how he wasn't my dad, how I didn't really like him and how I didn't consider
    via u/Lilizenzoll
  • him my family and I tolerated him for my mom because she loved him. She also brought up a part where I wrote that I thought he was an a_h_le for insisting I miss a paternal family member's wedding because it was his only day off and he wanted a family. day. Mom asked me was it really
    via u/Lilizenzoll
  • such a big deal to me and I said it was because he interrupted time with my family. She was like but we're a family and I said she's my family and technically my half sister is but he's just the guy she's married to.
    via u/Lilizenzoll
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    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

     

  • Her husband walked in at that point and he went nuts and he said he had listened to us the whole time and he wanted me out of his house. That if he wasn't my father figure and he was just some guy and his daughter wasn't good enough for me then I could leave. My mom told him to stop and I wasn't leaving but he said I was. That I could go be
    via u/Lilizenzoll
  • with the family I actually want since I didn't even want to spend one day with him over them. Mom started fighting with him while I texted my grandpa to pick me up and I packed up my stuff. I left anything my mom and/or her husband bought for me so he couldn't say I would take his money but not give him the title of family.
    via u/Lilizenzoll
  • My mom always said she wanted me back and tried to get me back. But now she's like we've been in therapy for a while, she can find a way to help us all bond and we should all be a family under one roof again. The therapist asked her was she making me come back and she said she wanted me to come back willingly and that's when I told
    via u/Lilizenzoll
  • her I don't want to move back in with them. I said I'm happier staying with my grandparents and seeing her when we can. She told me it's not how we become a family though and she cried. She said she really thought I would become more open to trying because I'd miss them so much. AITA?
    via u/Lilizenzoll
  • Teenage girl wearing jean jacket with a backpack
    via aisvri

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • madaddyPTD Oh come on, your mother knew all of that already - that's why she read your diary. Her husband has -zero- authority over you so it was -her- that denied you the chance to go to the family wedding you wanted to go to because he didn't want you to go because he is trying to replace your father and you aren't allowing him the chance (has your father passed on?) Stay with your grandparents, and you should prepare for a future where her husband says she's not allowed to see/speak to you an
    via u/madaddyPTD
  • Lilizenzoll OP Yes, my dad d d when I was younger.
    via u/Lilizenzoll
  • madaddyPTD There are certain types of people that view other people as property, it's an ego thing. He probably. saw your mother with a minor daughter without a father and considered you both a package deal, as a result he 100% expected you to place him at the top of your power ladder...? Enabling that kind of BS is lunacy anyway, but he really can't do anything that your mother doesn't allow - as much of an AH as he is, it was your mother that has made her choices and she chose him when she mar
    via u/madaddyPTD
  • Duke-Guinea-Pig I agree with the assessment of "people that view other people as property" but in this case I think it applies to both the mother and stepfather.
    via u/Duke-Guinea-Pig
  • Educational_Tone_414 That's true, the mom invading her daughter's privacy like that really shows she also prioritizes control over respect and trust in the relationship.
    via u/Educational_Tone_414
  • Sweaty-Delivery-5300 NTA. Your mom has utterly failed as a parent by putting this man and your half sister before you. Your mom needs to see how allowing you to be kicked out by him was an incredible betrayal. She also royally f ed up by reading your own private journal and demanding you guys discuss it. Your private thoughts sound reasonable and it sounds like you were causing no issues there. You are entitled to your privacy. Protect your peace, stay in an environment that is healthy for you.
    via u/Sweaty-Delivery-5300
  • Lilizenzoll OP My mom wanted and still wants everyone to love everyone and be one happy family. She's pushed my brother in a similar way because he keeps in touch with her but hasn't seen her husband or our half sister in over two years. To her it's tragic that I don't love my half sister and don't want to be the best big sister ever to her. I think even me saying half sister bothers her.
    via u/Lilizenzoll
  • Sweaty-Delivery-5300 It honestly sounds like she is still more concerned with her own feelings and not yours. I would tell her that the more she does this, the more she is pushing you away (if you feel that way of course). She needs to parent the daughter she has, not the one she wished she had. By forcing this image of family, and trying to force you to conform to it, she is alienating you. She isnt acknowledging and addressing your actual feelings, she's still trying to erase them.
    via u/Sweaty-Delivery-5300

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family drama entitled parents mother crazy things parents say stepfather bad parenting half sister parenting family stepdad mom Parenting Fail diary parents Parenting FAILS
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